So, 40+ days ago, I fought with myself on what I was going to give up for Lent. I always find a way to celebrate by giving something up, not because it’s sinful, or it’s bad for me, but because I find that it is distracting to my daily life, and takes away from my personal time and growth, and my family. I first said social media, then decided I liked it too much and instead would do 40 days of giving. Giving of my time, my personal possessions, etc. But the next morning, I went to work excited I wasn’t giving up social media, and my co-worker said she had deleted social media from her phone. Hmmm, there it was again, so we decided as a work team to give up social media.

I did not get on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or LinkedIn. (There was one time I got on LinkedIn to post a job I am hiring for, but other than that, no social media). I did not delete the Facebook Messenger App or Pinterest. Funny, my phone told me Pinterest in social media. But I felt since I wasn’t connecting to that like the others, I was ok to keep it.

Here’s what I did not miss, I didn’t miss having my phone on the table at dinner. I didn’t miss amidst this COVID-19 Pandemic, seeing the same pictures of empty shelves at WalMart. I didn’t miss feeling like I had to post all the time. At first it was really hard, I thought “the world needs to see this great picture of the sky in my front yard because I’m #blessed” or “everyone needs to know how much I love my [husband/daughter] for their birthday and our anniversary that I missed while on a social media break.

Here’s what I did miss…4 births, 3 boys 1 girl, congratulations!! I missed 3 engagements, I’m so happy for you! Adoption of puppies/dogs/cats/and a rabbit, welcome to the family! I missed people losing family members, from old age to suicide to the loss of pregnancy. I am so sorry for your loss.

I learned who wanted to be connected with me. From long talks on the phone to taking walks to meeting up to catch up over wine and pizza. Texts and messages were awesome. Thank you for showing me that you value me and our friendship, not just through social media.

It’s what we do to be connected. To keep our friends in our lives and to share the good things we’re going through, and sometimes the hard times too. I’ve heard “facebook happy families” and what I’ve come to realize is that it’s ok to show the good stuff, it’s where we can feel like the world sees enough bad, and the falling apart, and the divorces, lets show them some good things. Keeping that in mind, it’s important to post the real things, real love, real hurt, because it’s not a perfect world.

So, here’s my promise. To be real. To be vulnerable. To talk about the things that really go on. If you’re going to hear the good stuff, lets talk about the struggles. It’s ok to have a bad day and feel like the world, or just one person needs to hear. Maybe someone is going through the same thing you are. While each experience is it’s own, and you experience it differently, doesn’t mean that you can’t help someone out.

Let’s have the hard conversations. Let’s be real. What’s the point if you can’t be honest, and show everyone your fake side, your real friends know the real story. I have not opened all social medias back up, just Facebook for now. You’re going to see more of the things that are true about me, lets talk mental health, lets talk getting healthier, lets talk about what’s important to you. I love you all and I am glad to be back, but my end is going to change.

I have very recently observed that there should be a period of bereavement allowed for those that lose a pet. Not just for work, but school as well.

This past Sunday, we lost our sweet little boy, Toby Jay. It was sudden, and we had to make the hardest decision to put him to rest. Toby was a not so lovable, mostly toothless, t-shirt wearing, 7 pound old man, also known as a Chihuahua. He came to us 2 years ago, when my mother-in-law was passing from cancer. She made my daughter (then 15) promise to take care of her babies, Dolly and Toby. Toby was mouthy, had lots of things to say, and honestly, didn’t like many people.

Except my family. We took them in, and he easily fell into a routine, liked getting dressed in the mornings, humored us when we bundled him in hats, scarves and leg warmers in the winter, costumes for the holidays [yes we did]. He eagerly greeted us when we walked in the room, wagging his tail in anticipation as to who was going to walk through the door, hoping it was “his girl”.

Toby fell in love with my daughter. He followed her everywhere. He protected her from boys he didn’t like. He slept with her, and looked forward to the days that she would lay in bed with him, him under the covers curled up as tight as he could next to her, while she watched TV. He grunted and growled when you took the covers off of him, I’ve never met a dog that loved blankets so much.

On Sunday, Toby had a ruptured muscle, and a hernia created by his intestines and colon. We immediately rushed him to the Animal Er where they took great care of our boy. The vet came in, and told us what we already knew in our heads, that this little body of his, along with his heart murmur, wouldn’t have great odds to survive a surgery, that mind you would cost about $3,000, in addition to staying in ICU for a few days.

Now we have to find a new normal. A new morning routine that is only one dog going outside, as Dolly turns to look to see where Toby is, and he never comes. Only feeding one dog, does Dolly get the whole can of food now? Who is going to lay on me under the covers when I’m sick? Who is going to wear the “Your Girlfriend Thinks I’m Cute” t-shirt? I have to cancel his groomers appointment, now it’s just for one.

I stayed home from work on Monday, thankfully schools were closed so my daughter was able to stay home. But today was no easier than yesterday. I went to get my things together for work, and pulled his t-shirt he was wearing out of my purse. Que the sobbing. My daughter hasn’t slept, he’s a snorer and she said its too quiet now. She woke up with swollen eyes, no school today for her. But on my way into work, still crying, knowing I was going to have to face my co-workers and live the pain all over. He was a family member, you don’t just get over that.

I know, just like other rules and regulations, people would take advantage. But I believe there should be a time that family should be allowed to take from work and school to help them with the mourning process of losing a family member. So, here’s to all the family members heaven has gained, and crossed over Rainbow Bridge, and the family that continues to go on without their beloved pets. Forever and Always, we love you.

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I know what you’re thinking, how can anyone have an “unhealthy addiction to Chick-fil-a”? It’s the Lord’s Chicken, so I’ve heard.

This year, 2020, I decided that I was finally going to take control of my wellness, total wellness. I wanted to create healthy habits, all over my life. I wanted to base my journey on the Eight Dimensions of Wellness. This Chick-fil-a, Lord’s Chicken, soaked in pickle juice chicken, addiction hits more than one of these dimensions.

This year my journey to wellness included me giving up Chick-fil-a for 3 months. Not just for physical health, but financial help. Today (still in the 3 month process), I was really craving the chicken, and my daughter really wanted some. So I told myself that I would give myself permission to eat there today, “breaking” my goal of not eating there until April. But sometimes you have to give in to yourself and allow those pleasures, to then recognize the real reasons why you gave it up.

In January 2020 I did not have Chick-fil-a once! Not one time! I was really proud of myself. I also incorporated more exercise, still not as much as I wanted, but more. I lost 10 pounds. Not just because of these two things, but because I became more mindful of myself.

Today, as I was driving home with my food and drinks for three in tow, spending over $25 for three of us. I was munching on a warm waffle fry at a red light when I looked over to another car. There, in a brand new beautiful blue pick up truck was a man smoking his cigarette, with windows closed. Another bad habit. But what makes my bad habit better than his? Nothing. They both cost way too much money. They both are not good for our health. They both leave an odor in the vehicle.

So, I decided to look at what I was spending at this curbside pickup, pleasure serving employees, restaurant. I pulled up my bank account for 2019. Well, if you must know……..I spent, hmmm, I’m so embarrassed to say this, from my bank account, not including any cash or gift cards I received, $1,872. That’s more than my mortgage payment, that’s 5 car payments, that’s two graduate classes. That’s money I’ve taken from my family just to eat at Chick-fil-a. These were just for my meals, this does not include any time we went as a family.

I’m glad I went to Chick-fil-a today. I’m glad I saw the man smoking his cigarette. I’m glad I looked through my bank. Now I know I have to take better responsibility of myself and my finances. Every little bit adds up. Adds up in my bank, adds up on my hips. And both of these reasons are reasons to continue with my journey to stray from Chick-fil-a. This is a new year, a new me, and a new better bank account.

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

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• Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
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The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

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• Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
• What topics do you think you’ll write about?
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You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.